爸爸这个称呼让我们联想到的词常常是父爱如山、沉默寡言、严厉等等。
但是英语里有个词叫做Latte Pappa，直译过来就是“拿铁爸爸”，乍一看不知道是什么。
其实它是对瑞典全职爸爸的昵称。
也可以写作latte papa，latte dad，表达类似意思的还有SAHD——Stay-at-home dad（全职爸爸）。
"Latte papa" is a slang term that refers to a very attentive and attractive Swedish dad that can often be found in coffee shops with prams (hence the "Latte" name), wearing designer clothes, and toting one or more kids.
“拿铁爸爸”是一个俚语，指的是一个非常细心且有魅力的瑞典爸爸，你常常能在咖啡馆（所以才有“拿铁”这个名字）看到他们推着婴儿车，穿着名牌衣服，带着一个或多个小孩儿。
Men with prams have become such a familiar sight since shared parental leave was first introduced in 1974 in Sweden that there's the name – "latte pappas" – for the tribe.
自从1974年共享育儿假在瑞典首次颁布以来，男人推婴儿车已经变得十分常见，以至于这个群体有了一个名字——“拿铁爸爸”。
《卫报》记者Richard Orange在瑞典城市马尔默的公共游乐空间观察到宝爸们的数量常常超过宝妈们，宝爸们也是职业各异。
At the free-of-charge, drop-in play group in Malmö that is my morning refuge, the pappas often outnumber the mammas. I'll find myself sitting cross-legged next to a taciturn Swedish engineer, a heavily tattooed biker, or another migrant – a computer programmer from Chennai – as our children play with the wooden blocks, rattles and drums.
瑞典马尔默城的免费游乐场所是我早上可以喘息一会的地方，那儿宝爸的数量经常超过宝妈。盘腿坐在那儿，我会发现旁边要不就是一个沉默寡言的瑞典工程师、要么是一个纹身很重的摩托车手、或是一个来自印度金奈的程序员移民，我们的小孩儿就在那儿玩积木、拨浪鼓和手鼓。
This type of stylish dad gained prominence in the 2010s. Through the family leave program, both parents receive a collective 480 days and the parents can choose who gets to use them (and the policy encourage dads to use them first). This has led to more dads staying home with the kids and has allowed more women to pursue their careers.
这些时髦的父亲是在2010年代慢慢出名起来的。家庭产假计划让父母双方可以共享480天的产假，两人可以选择谁来休产假（且政策鼓励爸爸先休）。这导致更多的爸爸们选择待在家里带孩子，也让更多的女性可以从事自己的事业。
虽然名字叫做Latte Pappa，但是宝爸们不可能只在咖啡厅里带孩子。超市、书店、游乐园都有他们的身影。
不过最重要的育儿场所自然是——家。
那里才能观察和体验到最真实，同时也意味着最辛苦的育儿过程。
瑞典摄影师Johan Bävman的摄影展Swedish Fathers《瑞典爸爸》在超过65个国家展出，2017年还来过中国上海。这一摄影作品历时两年完成，共拍摄了45组瑞典父子。
照片中的场景多为凌乱的厨房、卫生间、卧室、浴室，全职爸爸们多是手忙脚乱的，无论他们在孩子出生前所从事的职业是土木工程师还是电工，面对少则1个，多则3个小生命，喂食、辅助排便、陪伴玩耍、清理房间等不可避免地成为了他们多任务操作的一环。
《卫报》记者Richard Orange 2012年曾当过数月全职爸爸，他在文章中描述了带娃的一天，读者们都直呼“真实”，他的文字和Johan的照片共同拼凑出了一个妈妈平常的一天——孩子哭的撕心裂肺，自己心急如焚，想尽办法用尽招数也止不住哭。
It's around 6 pm at the end of my third week of paternity leave, and since 5:30 pm I've checked the kitchen clock every five minutes.
现在是我休爸爸产假的第三周末尾的下午6点左右，从下午5点半开始，我每隔5分钟就要看一次厨房的闹钟。
My daughter Eira is crying and I can't work out what she wants. I try walking her around the kitchen for what seems like the 50th time today. I thrust a maniacally smiling wooden caterpillar at her, hoping it'll placate her. I've tried whisks, pots, the colander, all objects that have fascinated in the past, but nothing works.
我女儿埃拉在哭，我不知道她想要什么。我试着带她在厨房里转转，好像是今天第50次这么干了，没有效果。我把一只面带大笑的木头毛毛虫伸到她面前，希望能安抚她，她还是在哭。我还试过打蛋器、茶壶、滤锅，所有这些过去能吸引她的东西都不管用。
看了眼纸尿裤，是干的，用尤克里里弹儿歌，也没用，最后把小孩儿举到镜子前，反倒奏了效。
I peek inside her nappy, more for something to do than because I think it needs changing. I try playing her a Swedish children's song on the ukelele, but realize that's more for my own pleasure than hers. Finally I bounce her in front of the mirror in the hall, which, as always, snaps her out of it, and I stare at her happy gurgling face next to my own desperate smile.
我看了眼她的尿布，明知道不需要换，但我就是想找点事儿干。我试着用尤克里里给她弹瑞典儿歌，但我意识到根本就没取悦到她，还不如说是在取悦我自己。最后，我把她举到门厅的镜子前，如往常一样，她终于喜笑颜开，我盯着她那快乐的咯咯笑的脸，那张脸旁边是我绝望的微笑。
When my wife Mia finally gets home, I hand the baby over and drop exhausted on to the sofa. I'm so tired that I'm in bed by nine, about the same time as Eira, and sleep through until 5:30 am, when her coughing and crying wakes me to the next day of my six-month stint.
我妻子米娅终于下班到家时，我就把孩子交给她，精疲力尽地倒在沙发上。我太累了，九点就上床睡觉了，差不多和埃拉睡觉的时间一样，一直睡到早上5点半，她的咳嗽和哭声把我吵醒，开启6个月产假中的下一天。
累到不过晚上9点就能和孩子一起睡着，5:30就被咳嗽和啼哭叫醒，这典型的一天会重复180次，直到男性产假结束。
英国没有瑞典那么大规模的爸爸带娃现象，因此这段经历给英国记者Richard Orange带来了新知。
他意识到自己带娃之前以为自己能和妈妈们“共情”——在带娃这事儿上感同身受——有多么浅薄。
It has only taken a few weeks of this for me to know what the overwhelming majority of British fathers never find out. When I thought I was being sympathetic to my wife during her child leave, I wasn't being nearly sympathetic enough. And when I thought I was being understanding, I didn't understand a thing.
我只花了几个星期的时间就体会到了绝大多数英国父亲从不知道的事情。我以为我在妻子休产假期间算是能共情的了，但其实远远不够。我以为我足够了解带孩子的困难，其实我一无所知。
他采访的软件工程师Leon的观点也如出一辙。
In Sweden, men's painful discovery of how exhausting it is to look after a baby is believed to aid parental harmony. "You get a whole different understanding of how it is to take care of a child, because work is nothing in comparison," says Leon, 34, a software developer I met pushing his baby daughter on one of the swings in front of a Malmö café frequented by dads who use the playground. "I don't think looking after a child for a weekend is enough. You have two days of chaos, but you don't get into the routines."
瑞典男性痛苦地发现照顾孩子是多么累人，人们认为这有助于父母和谐。在马尔默城一个带孩子来玩儿的宝爸们经常光顾的咖啡馆前面，我碰到了34岁的程序员里昂，他正推着女儿荡秋千，他说：“你对带小孩儿这件事儿会有一个完全不同的理解，因为工作与之相比真的就算不了什么。我觉得光是周末照顾照顾小孩是不够的。你就经历了两天混乱而已，你根本不知道日常能有多乱。”
在爸爸带娃的叙事中，旁观者难免会首先注意到“拿铁爸爸”摩登、温柔、男子力的特质。
但育儿的本质不是陪玩和喝咖啡，它的琐碎藏在新闻头图的背后，在半夜啼哭的婴儿房、在水溅一身的浴室、在每一个为婴儿挡开的尖锐家具角。
人类幼崽的特殊性决定了，带孩子，就是24小时随时在他/她身边待命。
所以，拿铁爸爸们受到许多女性赞赏不在于他们把婴儿车在大街上推出了秀场男模范儿，而在于他们真实承担了育儿责任，让妻子不仅能够喘息，更能兼顾工作。
Swedes tend to see generous shared parental leave as good for the economy, since it prevents the nation's investment in women's education and expertise from going to waste.
瑞典人往往认为，给足共享育儿假对发展经济其实有好处，因为可以防止浪费国家对女性教育和专业培养的投资。